Seriously. I know I know. You've heard this before. So had I. But you really REALLY don't know how hard it is until your there. Before I had my son, Riley, I thought "its going to be so great when I have kids. I love children. I've did a lot of babysitting when I was a teenager so I know how it goes. No sweat." Then reality hit .... hard. Here's my story.
My husband and I got married in 2008 after we graduated from college and left the small town we grew up in to hit the big city: Boston. Got our selves a super cute (albeit small) studio apartment in the swanky Back Bay neighborhood and set about looking for jobs. Found a great job at a start up Insurance firm and got to work building my career It was all planned out. I'll work till I'm about 30ish, pay off the loans, save up some money then we'll start on the kids. Then it happened. A positive pregnancy test.
We weren't devastated or anything. It was a bit earlier then we had planned. But I had the ring on my finger so I knew at least my parents wouldn't come after my husband with a shotgun or anything. No. We can make this work. As my tummy grew I dreamed of what my new life was going to be. I was going to be June Cleaver. My husband would come home from work to find a well dressed wife with a happy kid in a clean house and a warm meal on the table ready to eat! I was going to have a well behaved son that fit neatly into all my plans. Should have known this wasn't going to happen when my son, Riley, decided to show up 5 weeks early.
Over the last two years I worked really hard to create that 1950's dream I had and feeling so much guilt you'd think I was catholic. But as I sit here in my messy house, wearing PJ's (I'm not even going to talk about whats happening with my hair right now) praising the lord that the kid is finally napping I realize something. My son is a very happy child. My husband is a very happy man. And I'm a very happy woman.
I'm starting this blog to give myself a bit of an outlet. Motherhood has turned out to be very different then I ever imagined. This is, of course, a familiar thought to all those mothers out there. But I needed a place to throw out all those insane mother thoughts and feelings that I feel everyday without driving my Facebook friends crazy. So here it is. This will be the longest post, by far. Most will be a couple sentence thoughts or maybe a few online links to things I think are interesting in the world of Moms'. This is not an informational blog. This is not a blog that I'm going to use as a soapbox on what I believe is the "right" parenting style. This is only to hopefully give you a laugh or a moment to think. I encourage comments, but I wont publish any comments about why I "wrong" for letting my kid cry it out or how I'm a bad mother for not breastfeeding for the whole first year. This is just a fun reality check. So here it is...... Musings of a Not So Perfect mom!